A huge spooky place on a dead end road totally private on 5 acres $175,000

You are lost, you end up on a dead end road, nothing in sight but trees. You look around and notice a dirt road. You check your cell - no service. You drive onto the dirt road, leading through the trees up the hillside, thinking that at least you can maybe make a phone call. You come out by a very old creepy house. There is not a sound, but the wind blowing in the tree branches. You nervously get out of the car, thinking, "How is this place possible!". You hear a strange sound like bubbles bursting - you notice a pond completely covered with green muck surrounding the remains of a raised lid - probably an old septic tank. The muck moves suspiciously and some bubbles burst again. You expect some mutant giant toad with teeth to jump at you and hurry to the porch. You knock, nothing happens. You try the door - it opens with a squeak. It is dark inside. Suddenly you feel cold steel on your temple and you stand perfectly still. Your heart tries to leap up and away, but, without cooperation from the body, ends up lodged in your throat. You slowly shift your eyeballs and see an ancient old man, probably a hundred years old, maybe two, holding a rifle. He grins and spits unto the invisible floor, and you think, "great, now he is going to get out his rusty old chainsaw..." You stutter, "I'm just here to look at the house for sale. I'm sorry. Can I just use your phone?" The old man says, "Follow me," but holds on to the rifle. He leads you into a dining room and points to a chair by an old heavy wooden table. He leaves and comes back with a glass of water and puts it in front of you. As you pick up the glass, he says with significance, "Spring water, no chemicals in it." You shudder and put the glass back down.
Wouldn't you like to own this spooky old house on 5 acres zoned Anything Goes? Of course it needs a bit of elbow grease, and you probably want to boil that water before drinking it, but where else can you get a huge self-sustaining echo farm minutes away from the city! You could have a machine shop, fill up the 5 acres with old cars, or get some goats and chickens... The possibilities are endless... Your lucky day - the property can be purchased with owner financing with a reasonable downpayment (min 20%).